i seriously cant get to sleep. tomo is slping,phia is clubbing,xinny is in aussie. so i decided to just pen it down here to make myself feel better. i jus had a big quarrel with my boyfriend,again. it jus happened yesterday and it's happening again today. why are all this happening to me? why are all the bad things falling upon me? we quarrelled over the smallest thing ever and it can be transformed into a big one which involves all the shouting and flowing of tears. thinking back,all this really hurt me when it happened. i think it's just me,it's me who is always starting all this fucking shit. and all this fucking shit is making him shout at me which i dislike. i dislike having my boyfriend,whom i love so dearly,to shout at me. thou i know he dint mean it. but when he does that,i jus feel totally hurt,sad,down wotever negative feelings which you can think of just dump it all in. that's wot i feel when both of us quarrel. TOTAL FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT. sometimes i really feel that my attitude,all my nonsense,are too intoleraterable. im not worth all this toleration. who am i to vent my anger on? where do i have all the right into doing all this to make you tolerate me? i feel so lousy now. im such a lousy girlfriend. why cant i jus give in sometimes and not make things difficult for him? why can i do such a simple thing which i think probably all the girlfriends out there who got boyfriends,are doing? maybe it all jus slides down to me being too difficult. i depend and rely on my boyfriend too much. is that the reason is to why all this shits are happening? but the reason is to why i rely and depend on him because i wana get pampered by him. i want to feel like a little girl. jus like a 3 year old girl when she is given a candy. i wana be loved by him totally,whole-heartedly. maybe im asking too much? but that's just me.ok im really a fucking bitch. for once,im at a complete loss. -baby im really sorry that all this is happening to us. like u said nothing can bring us apart but i truely am feeling really lousy and down right now. you know i love you so much so much and my heart would always be with you. thou i am really unreasonable at times,i just hope that you will be able to tolerate all this. at the end of the day,all this quarrels aint important to me. wot is the most important thing is that we are able to go thru all this together and realising we hafta cherish each other more. the sun will only rise after a storm right? i love you with all my heart baby boy. you will always be my one and only pomelo head.